Recent research by scientists at the University of Michigan, University of Pennsylvania and Northwestern University suggests that people tend to seek out their opposites in spending patterns. The researchers also determined that people self identify that they would be happiest with people of their own spending patterns -but the research suggests that people do not actively seek out partners who share their financial outlook.
The researchers noted that the findings suggest that we dislike aspects of our own spending patterns and unconsiously look for partners who believe differently. For example, thinking: "he makes me feel so free" or "she reins me in -I feel more responsible"
Unfortunately, partners who do not share a like outlook on finances are more likely to have marital conflict, and divorce.
(the abstract of the paper is here: http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1339240)
My husband and I are probably fiancial opposites, but rarely fight about finances, because he's taken the "Yes, dear" approach. That, and we can talk about finances without getting mad or accusatory (mostly!).
So, in the spirit of the study: is your partner your financial opposite?
I say tomato, you say toh-ma-to!
August 28th, 2009 at 02:33 pm
August 28th, 2009 at 03:01 pm 1251471700
My DH and I are polar opposites - he worries about the big picture and I worry about the nitty gritty. He also has had the attitude "I make the money, you manage it" which left me feeling isolated and frustrated. This past summer we attended a 7 Steps to Finanical Freedom sponsored by our parish, and while it didn't change our polarity, it did facilitate communication and discussion which led to greater insight as to where the other is coming from. It has also given us the opportunity to have a shared vision for our finances. Now he is more aware of the day-to-day details of the budget and I am more aware of our networth. I think understanding one's patterns and POV will help bridge most discourse.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:26 pm 1251473174
It's similar in concept as believing in religion or any other area of strong interest, and then wanting to find someone who shares that interest.
The only time, I find, where things are best suited to be opposites, is in personality.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:52 pm 1251474721
Jerry
August 28th, 2009 at 04:04 pm 1251475496
August 28th, 2009 at 04:07 pm 1251475677
My husband and I pretty much have the same financial personality.
Come to think of it, most of my friends and family are also very similar. I don't think I ever even dated a "spender" or opposite type. I am attracted to people with opposite personalities, no doubt. But apparently not so much to people with different money tendencies. I like practical people.
I've probably never met anyone with such the SAME view as money as my dh. We were raised similarly and have been together since age 18. Most of our views on money have evolved since we have been together - no doubt why we are so extremely similar.
August 28th, 2009 at 06:21 pm 1251483691
August 28th, 2009 at 06:48 pm 1251485318
August 29th, 2009 at 03:36 am 1251516982